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February 20 Craft sale! Everyone attend!I can't believe I'm using this space for cheap plugs...
I'm hosting a craft sale featuring some of my handmade goodies this Saturday, Feb. 24th. It will be at my apartment building (493 Victoria Road North, right at the Victoria/Woodlawn intersection in Guelph) in the 'common room' from noon until five-ish. The main reason I'm doing this is to raise funds to pay for rent by the end of the month. Guelph Tool STILL hasn't called me back (and it's going on week 5 of my 13-week layoff), and job opportunities in general are looking pretty scary for me, so I'm hoping beyond hope that this will raise some decent and much-needed cash.
I'll be selling off beaded jewellry items, hand-knit stuff... and some Beanie Babies. As long as people don't walk in thinking they can name prices and treat the whole thing like it's a garage sale, I'll be fine. I'd post pictures... if only I can figure out the picture thingie, which apparently underwent an overhaul when this site changed over to 'live spaces'. Pfft. January 24 Signs that boredom is creeping in...
What Tree Are You? (Celtic astrology) created with QuizFarm.com January 20 So I received the white envelope of joy AGAIN...I should have seen it coming. It's the turn of the year, that time when every industry slows down (except for retail, which never seems to have any fluctuations). I had a gut feeling that things would be difficult at work, but I'd only heard today that layoffs would be inevitable.
According to mostly hearsay, there were up to five layoffs from day shift alone. The recipients of the unexpected winter vacation were reportedly sad if not downright bitter, which is completely understandable. Then the rumor mill generated even more unnerving news - the afternoon shift would also be affected by work shortages. And guess whose name was tumbled around as a possibility? You guessed it, boys and girls - mine.
I was later reassured that it was only due to my lack of seniority and not my work habits or lack thereof.
Inevitably, as is the case when I try to get my crap together, the suspicions proved a reality as I was summoned to the supervisor's office *just* before closing time to have the "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you've been temporarily laid off" speech from the production supervisor. This was, of course, after learning then conquering a new job, another glowing work review, repeated trips to the bathroom after my stomach decided to wreak havoc due to the stress of possibly being laid off for the second time in two years... ack.
On one hand, it's not as bad as it could be. It's a 'temporary' layoff that could last as long as three months, during which I'm still able to access my benefits. I get to spend some quality time around the house doing something about which I was musing aloud yesterday - being a stay-at-home full time stepmommy. I can do all sorts of fun, crafty stuff all day long if I feel like it (which will more than likely be happening anyways since I'll be needing the extra cash). Not having to brave the winter elements as often is a nice bonus, too.
On the other hand, I feel completely fucking useless. Like I said earlier, this is the second time in two years that I've been temporarily removed from my oh-so-illustrious factory job. It's as if fate is daring me to overcome yet another obstacle on my path to financial wellbeing, marriage and all that other fun stuff. I really, REALLY don't want to postpone the wedding yet again, but if the layoff lasts more than three months we might as well run away to Niagara Falls and elope. Bah.
It was nice, however, to have everyone in my department and assembly wish me well, offer condolences, vent frustration that I'm out of work while others who don't appreciate hard labour (i.e. slackers) get to stick around, etc. I really appreciated hearing that, and that's one of the reasons why I can't wait to get back to Guelph Tool. If only all work environments could be that supportive... December 19 R.I.P. JapoloGoodbye, my beloved feline friend. I will always love and miss you dearly. You're in a better place now with no more worries about visits to the vet, aging or illness. May you join the other kitties that will greet you in the afterlife. October 30 One year older... and I still feel uselessThere's been the veritable maelstrom of negative energy surrounding me as of late, and with all due respect I'd rather not get into every minute detail of it at this time for several reasons. Besides, I'd be here for more than a few moments I've allotted myself. But I digress...
I turned one year older on Oct. 25th and wasn't able to properly celebrate it until the weekend, which is understandable since I don't feel that a birthday is a big enough reason to want a day off work. But even then there was that unshakeable feeling of not wanting to enjoy the moment too much for fear of being plummeted once again into some level of unpleasantness. It's as if I'm not allowed to enjoy any aspect of life at this time, if anything for fear of suffering some sort of negative reprisal. I'm sorry if this sounds cryptic, but it's the best I can do at this point seeing as though my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energies are scattered.
So I do what keeps me sane - I throw myself into my work and crafting. They're the two things in which I feel the greatest confidence at this point in my life. They're rewarding to me on many levels, and they're the two things I feel I do well and don't make too many mistakes with. Call it my steadily declining self-esteem and the events surrounding me that are contributing to this erosion, but I get subtle (or, on occasion, not-so-subtle) reminders in regards to other areas of my life that I have no hope whatsoever in even attempting to achieve some level of perfection. Or at the very least, doing something right.
It would be nice to know that I have a positive influence somewhere... |
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